Jenna Glatzer, Ghostwriter

A while back, a woman on a pregnancy board told us about a pregnant acquaintance of hers who was told not to come back to a YMCA because she was wearing a two-piece bathing suit in the pool. Apparently, the swim instructor didn't approve of her "bare belly" and said it was inappropriate for children to see it. HUH? I was shocked and told my mom about it on the phone... in a "Can you believe this?" sort of way, and Mom promptly agreed with the swim instructor. She told me she thought it was too "risque" and inappropriate for children to see a pregnant woman's belly. HUH TIMES TWO? For real. This caused quite an interesting conversation, wherein she claimed to see no difference between baring a belly and baring one's breasts, and that children were bound to ask questions about how babies are made if pregnant women "flaunt" their bellies. And then parents will have to explain the birds and the bees much too early, and morality will decli...

What is it about toothpaste that makes it so excellent at staining? I love my electronic toothbrush, but it seems I can't handle it. I manage to get toothpaste on myself about every other day. And toothpaste has this supernatural quality-- you can rinse it off, really rubbing the fabric so it looks like it's all gone, and when it dries, poof! The toothpaste is still there. Taunting you. Like those birthday candles you can never blow out. So I use more water and more soap, and pretty soon, my shirt is soaked through and through and I can't wear it anymore, so I hang it over the shower door to dry and wear something else. Which is what I'm doing now. Tricksy toothpaste.