No, Seriously, You Look Like Poop
Little in life is more disheartening than this conversation I had yesterday with an acquaintance I see every few weeks: Her: You don't look good. Me: That's because I'm not wearing makeup. Her: No, really. Your eyes are very puffy. Me: No, that's how I always look. You just normally see me with makeup. Her: You look like you've been crying. Me: I haven't. I promise. Her: You really don't look good. *Sigh.* Thanks, lady. Could you perhaps point me to the nearest bridge that I could hurl myself off? My eyes aren't aging well. The rest of me is fine, but I've always, always had a problem with big bags under my eyes, and they're only getting worse with time. I've tried dozens of products, but no success so far. I'm actually contemplating plastic surgery eventually, because it's just hard to feel good about yourself when people actually insist on a regular basis that you must not be sleeping. (I am.) Of course, I've tried the cucumber ...