Well, I've made it to day 5 this time. (Last time I gave in at day 3 and took a quarter of a pill.) I think this is progress. I'm back to having that I-can't-turn-my-head thing and some brain zaps and brownie cravings, but the rest of me isn't bad. And, okay, fine, I always have brownie cravings.
I'm going to try to stay off it altogether now. Not sure if it'll work (I heard that antidepressant withdrawal actually gets worse around day 7), but I want to try. Time for me to find out who I am underneath this med that's been keeping me sane for the past several years.
I'm praying that by now, my brain has straightened itself out and that the panic attacks aren't lurking in there, just suppressed all this time. But I really don't know what I'm going to find. I remember when the doctor first told me that I'd probably be on this medication my whole life, and I thought, "That's fine by me. Who cares, as long as it works?" I even volunteered a while back to be a patient spokesperson for Lexapro-- that's how much of a difference it made in my life.
But for a while now, I've had the urge to step away from the shore and see.
If I'm turning into a raving psycho, you'd tell me, right?
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
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I think that deep down inside, we all have a little bit of the contents of raving lunatic, impatient psychopath or obsessive stress-junkie and what-not lurking around in our brains. I personally feel like I've got multiple ingredients this week! Keep hangin' in there! :0)
ReplyDeleteI know you can do this and I am always here to support you!! If that means I have to listen to a raving psycho... ;) :P I love ya, knock them dead!!
ReplyDeleteWe'd tell you Jenna. You're not. It seems to me you're moving in the right direction.
ReplyDeleteI always worry that if I get put on any kind of medication, that I won't be able to write anymore...
ReplyDeleteJenna, I've fought depression most of my life. I won't tell you I know how you feel, just that I feel for what you're going through.
ReplyDeleteGood luck. Don't beat yourself up.
Jenna, Hang in there! You have tremendous courage, I KNOW you can do this! Want me to bake you some brownies in the meantime? Take care.
ReplyDeleteLol, ironic that you're going off meds when I'm just going into them.
ReplyDeleteJenna, you're the bravest person I've known, and one of the strongest, too. Even if it takes a little bit longer than expected, I know you'll make it!! I'm rooting for you!!
I was on Lexapro as well and forgot to take them with me on my trip a few weeks back. I was gone 7 days which I got thru moderately well thanks to Psuedo Sangria.
ReplyDeleteI have had serious insomnia issues since then and it's been two weeks - I hope it goes away soon. Other than that I'm fine, and the little pastel bunnies that follow me around everywhere singing "We Are the Champions" are fine too, thank you very much.
Ok, I exaggerated. There are no bunnies during the waking hours but weird dreams that have included them - when I actually do get to sleep.
Sending love your way, Jenna. I'm rooting for you too.
ReplyDeleteNow...brownies? Did someone say brownies?
:)
I'm on day 19 of Lexapro (Cipralex here in Canada)withdrawal and it's just starting to get better. It's kind of like three steps forward on back kind of thing, where you feel okay for a few days and then one I feel like I'm car sick ALL day. I have to say I've been lucky that my emotional state has been fine... I've just felt sick! Hang in there Jenna... I'll be honest I came to your blog for the pretty face but have stayed for the content (Yes I'm a pig)! Now if I only had the pretty face to bring them to my blog! ;-)
ReplyDeleteJenna, your support system is intact today - I've been collecting all the posts about today's mess. You can see how many people are supporting you here: http://kiraconnally.com/blog/?page_id=213
ReplyDeleteHopefully, by tomorrow the list will be twice as long!
Dama, it takes an equal measure of the same kind of courage to either go on the meds or come off of them. Different points along the way, is all.
ReplyDeleteJenna, all my warmest thoughts to you.
I actually just got on Lexapro three months ago and find it's been a tremendous help with my anxiety and sleepless nights.
ReplyDeleteCan I ask why you decided to get off? Just to be free of drugs? Or some health concern I should be aware of?
At any rate, good luck! Hope the withdrawals aren't horrible.
Hey all! Thanks for the cheering on. ;)
ReplyDeleteThe only reason I'm off the Lexapro is that I'm trying to get pregnant. None of the SSRIs are safe during pregnancy (although at the time I went on them, doctors thought they were safe). My doctor advised me to come off the meds before I get pregnant.
I still am having some withdrawal effects-- mostly dizziness-- but it's not extreme anymore.
I'd still recommend Lexapro in a heartbeat. Right after my wedding, I wrote to the manufacturer of the drug to say "thank you for giving me my life back." I had never believed I would ever leave the house again, let alone be able to have a wedding with (eek) real live people in attendance.
Thanks Jenna for the clarification. Hope you get pregnant and have a beautiful, healthy baby.
ReplyDeleteYes, I have to say that I am finding myself more adventerous again...and not just via the Internet and my writing.
I have the same feelings about Wellbutrin. I have a life again, doing things I never thought possible. I have severe problems with anxiety, but my primary diagnosis is bipolar. I know it's different from what you have, but I made it through three pregnancies and nursing med-free. I hope you can do the same without issue.
ReplyDeleteBe well.
JenBarber