No, seriously.
As I've learned in various places, one of the most important things you can do to protect a baby is to make sure that anyone who handles her washes his or her hands first. So I do my best to uphold that. And I'm sad to say that after four months, I'm still having the same arguments with people. I have no idea what's so difficult or traumatic about hand-washing, but there are people-- in my family-- who are determined never to do it. And who manage to seem freshly shocked each time I ask for it. (What? I'm supposed to wash my hands? I washed them last week when I came to visit! Isn't that good enough?)
There are also people who can't seem to resist saying patronizing things after hearing me ask someone to wash his or her hands. The most common one is:
I can tell you're a first-time mom.
or
It's because she's your first.
No, it's because I'd rather not have your fecal matter on my daughter, thanks. And even if she were my 16th child, I promise you I'd still want you to wash your hands before holding her.
I hereby vow not to ever become complacent about basic hygiene rules that could keep a baby safe, no matter how many kids I get to have. I wish that was just a given, and that I wouldn't have to tell people that. I'm really surprised to learn that so many people think it's so overly protective to ask for simple hand-washing. (Oh, and if I hear the tired old excuses about how the baby needs to get smothered in germs so she can develop her immune system one more time, I'll whack someone with my diaper bag.)
P.S. Sara, no way am I showing off my bald spots. But here's a fun one from today where you really can't tell what my hair looks like...
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No contest about the washing hands bit, I agree when my son was a babe (okay still) I'm big on the hand washing; although in RN school we did an experiment where we washed our hands really well then put glow cream on (which when shown under a special light shows all the icky stuff left... do you want to know where this is going?) It didn't end well.
ReplyDeleteBut really I just wanted to say that, that has to be one of the cutest mama/baby pics ever. You lucky photogenic people you.
What a great pic! She's beautiful. And I was the same way. I'm still going to be the same way with baby #2! It really DOES make a difference when people wash their hands and I totally feel the same way. And I despise those patronizing comments, too. Grr!
ReplyDeleteI LOVE this photo. It is incredibly gorgeous and says it all about mommy/baby love. Love the colors, too.
ReplyDeleteAbout the germs debate...I think the world can fairly well be divided into two camps. Those who believe in germs and those who don't.
Sounds like you are a believer, so not sure why folks can't respect your wishes in your own home with your own child.
Seems like they could be a bit more respectful, eh?
Maybe they should go birth their own baby. :)
Hey no fair...you have cute baby pictures to lure people over with. I'm going to have to go borrow someones baby.
ReplyDeleteOh and I personally have never been the super-careful type, but my last baby was a baby like ten years ago. But here's my take on the whole situation. The rule is; Whatever Mom says goes. Later, that translates to, "If Mama ain't happy, aint nobody happy." Simple...see! You win every time.
Karen
Oh one more thing...just in case other mom's read this. Just saw a segment on the Today Show. 12,000 children were poisened last year due to ingesting hand-sanitizer. Two squirts are equal to four shots of hard liquor to a toddler. Put those hand sanitizers away or use the old fashioned soap and water scrub.
ReplyDeleteThat's my tip for the day. Karen
Hey, thanks for the nice comments on the picture. :)
ReplyDeleteJennifer: egads about the special light. I'm glad I didn't see that... I like to pretend I'm totally sanitized at all times. ;)
Karen: thanks for the info! I've avoided hand sanitizers due to this vague "I just don't think they're good for a baby" feeling; now I know my hunch was right.
And you can borrow my baby's pics anytime... I have about 9,000 of them (seriously) and she looks different all the time, so no one will be able to tell. ;)
Very cute photo!
ReplyDeleteAnd I don't have kids and I completely agree with you. You'd be shocked (maybe not) at the number of people who bypass handwashing. Yuck! Better safe than sorry I say! No matter what they think anyway, your baby, your say.
I hate being patronized more than anything else.
Awesome photo, Jenna!
ReplyDeleteAnd yeah, people can be less than understanding sometimes. Maybe you should get one of those lights and run people's hands under it to show them what they're carrying around. :D
First, what an adorable photo!
ReplyDeleteSecond, finally something I don't think I'll have to fight about regarding raising a baby in Italy (should I be so lucky)--Italians are obsessively (obnoxiously!) clean. There was a Proctor and Gamble survey not too long ago that found Italian women spend over 20 hours per week on household chores--American women? Four. Many won't even let their children play in grass for goodness' sake!
Good on you for standing your ground. I'm of the school that says it doesn't matter how ridiculous you think the Mommy's request is--she's the Mommy dammit!
You two are SO CUTE!! I'm a hand washing freak, too (or so they call me.) I've even gone so far as to tell people to sing twinkle-twinkle little star while they wash their hands, because that's how long you should wash to properly clean off the germs. My other big hang up is swearing. Don't swear in front of my baby! He's already repeating EVERYTHING you say.
ReplyDeleteI agree whole heartedly, Jenna. I've a 10 month old grandson, and I wash my hands before handling him. I even taught him to wash his own hands and he does it religiously--especially just before I give him his smoking lessons.
ReplyDeleteBlahahaha! You caught me off-guard with that one.
ReplyDeleteIs your dog freakishly large, or are you freakishly small?
To put it in perspective: she's a teacup poodle.
ReplyDeleteWhen my kids were babies, I was very strict with everyone about the touching and germs.
ReplyDeleteThen the babies started to crawl and it all went to pot. Kids are disgusting enough on their own without extra nasties from adults.
Now, when your baby is toddling about and playing in her diaper, act shocked when one of those 'not wash my hands' camp wants you to wash your child's boogie/poopy/muddy hands before touching THEM. Remind them that they did the same thing to your baby.
My favorite baby story is from my brother, whose son (1-2 years at the time?) removed his poopy diaper in the crib, then smeared it all over himself, the wall and the crib...
ReplyDeleteI'm on my fifth baby and I get MORE uptight about the handwashing with each kid!
ReplyDeleteI'm reading your freelancing book and really getting a lot out of it. Wish I had found it last summer when I started this journey. But, better late than never. Thank you!
I believe in washing hands after using the toilet, but not just because one is about to hold a baby, unless they happen to coincide.
ReplyDeleteDo you actually wash your hands EVERY TIME you pick up your child?
Essentially, yes. :)
ReplyDelete