Tuesday, June 03, 2014

When "Free Range Parenting" Goes Too Far

I just read an article on Salon that bothered me a lot.

It's here: The Day I Left My Son In the Car.

In short, the writer tried to run an errand with her 4-year-old, but he didn't want to go into the store, so she left him in the car for 5 minutes or so while she went in to shop.

A bystander saw this, recorded it, and called police. The writer spends much of the article minimizing her actions: it wasn't hot, it was just a quick errand, all her friends are doing it, it's no big deal. She's very mad at the person who called police. And the comments mostly mirror her thoughts-- no big deal, no real risk.

In fact, the comment that set me off was this one: "The risk of anything bad happening in those 5 minutes was so absolutely miniscule to not be worth mentioning."

I'm here as a reminder of that miniscule risk.

I was kidnapped and raped by a serial rapist when I was 10 years old. Maybe others don't think it's worth mentioning, but it was quite not fun when it happened to me.

Every time I see parents getting all huffy about how they should be allowed to let their kids roam free, walk to school, and so on, all I can think is this: You never think it's going to happen to you until it happens to you.

Earlier this year, a baby was kidnapped when his mother left him unattended in a car while she went in to a store. Here's a teenage girl who was abducted on her way to school this April. Leiby Kletsky was 8 when he was murdered and dismembered walking home from camp for the first time. Etan Patz has been missing since he was 6 years old because he was allowed to walk two blocks to school alone. This 2-month old was kidnapped from a car last month while her mother was unloading groceries. This 5-year-old girl was kidnapped from her front yard, where she'd been left unattended, last year.

We are not just statistics. We exist. Far too many of us. Learn from us so that these things don't happen to your children. It's not some self-righteous feminist movement to let kids roam free... it's lazy parenting that needs to stop.




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