Monday, April 27, 2009

She learned her "l" and that makes me sad

You remember how, just a few posts ago, I said my favorite part of the song "Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head" was when Sarina sang "I'm never gonna stop the rain by compwaining?" Well, without even warning me, she decided to start pronouncing her "l"s correctly now, so it's "complaining." It took all I had not to tell her she was saying it wrong and should go back to saying "compwaining." Darn you, progress! Darn you to heck!

Her new favorite is when I sing "Anything You Want (You Got It)" to her. The other day, my dad said "You can have anything you want" when asking her what she wanted for a snack, and she said, "Roy Orbison sings that."

But one of my new favorite Sarina moments came when we went to what was supposed to be a consignment sale at a community center, but when we got there, all the doors were locked. I had her in a carrier, facing me. I spotted a dad and young boy playing ball in the field nearby, and told Sarina that we'd go ask them if they knew what was going on. When we were about 20 feet away, she turned herself around and called out-- I swear--

"Excuse me! There seems to be a problem. We are lost in the parking lot, and every single door is locked."

She just turned 2.

And I've heard it said before, but I'm only just experiencing for myself the way you will say things as a parent that you cannot imagine ever saying in any other context, such as yesterday's topper: "I cannot paint your toenails if you keep sticking cheese between your toes."

How I entertained myself before her birth remains a mystery to me.


Wednesday, April 15, 2009

If I were to lose my ability to write are the jobs I could do instead:

-Personal sticker applicator. I am tremendous at applying decals to things that need decals. I got this train table set yesterday, and it came with about 8 thousand stickers to put all over the board. Depending on your point of view, it's either impressive or scary how anal I am about getting those stickers exactly right.

-Children's audio book narrator. I inherited this gene from my mom. We read children's books with great enthusiasm, voicing all of the dialogue with appropriately timbers.

-Expiration date checker at the grocery store.

-Chocolate chip cookie taster.

-The person who happens to be standing around at tourist spots so people can say, "Excuse me, can you take a picture of us?" and hand me their cameras. I really like doing this. I take great shots, and I imagine them later saying, "We totally asked the right woman to take this picture. Best picture ever."

-Baby hugger.

-American Idol judge. What? I can get qualifications. I can't possibly do worse than Randy. ("It was just aiight for me, dog.")

-Professional hula hooper. As a child, I beat the Guiness Book of World Records and no one even knew it. I told my mom, but I don't think she believed me.